Who Am I?

I wanted a passport for my 16th birthday. I knew nobody who lived abroad, at that stage. My parents thought it somewhat strange. I had that passport for a few years, before I was finally able to use it. I travelled to the UK and didn’t quite enjoy London as much as I expected to. However, it was settled. The travel-bug bit me big time and since then, I have had ants in my pants. A short while after, I travelled to Thailand and it confirmed my passion for travel or at least planted a seed. Even though my bucket-list remains to be as long as my arm, at this stage of my life, I’m simply out of juice.

5years living in the Middle-East and 4years in Asia, I embarked on over 100 journeys abroad on what seem to be a never-ending routine of travel travel travel, seeking one adventure after the other. I never stopped to take a breath and wonder, where will all of this lead to? What would be the ultimate price to pay? Am I giving up a life-partner, probably some children, maybe a career? Granted, I was working at a large multi-national company, so building a career was something I did on the side.

I’m home again and I can finally look at myself in the mirror and not regret the decisions I have made. Some think I’m still young enough to now have the life I sort of gave up to be able to embark on the journeys and travel to the destinations I so longed to see. I think I’m still young enough, but would that really be something I want? I sometimes think that and often not. Faith is what carries me and what I spent most of my time reflecting on, trying to be still and be guided by what I believe is the Holy Spirit.

I’ve climbed mountains, bungy-jumped, worked at orphanages, learnt how to dive. I’ve backpacked, hiked, paraglided, hand-glided and seen the wonders of the world. I learnt how to speak foreign languages, did the salsa and picked up crazy bugs from water. I took up cooking courses, ate a grasshopper and have had my fair share of food-poisoning. I got baptised in the Middle-East, nearly bombed out of Lebanon and climbed Kilimanjaro with my brother, without our gear. It seems as if I’ve conquered my world of travel, yet I still long for certain things – I still want to see, do, feel and experience what is unknown to me. I am truly uncharacteristic calm, no ants in my pants and I have been home for nearly 10 months. I am not keen on going anywhere in a hurry. Does God have a different plan for me? Am I finally ready to challenge and conquer different endeavours, play a different role, be another part of who I am destined to be? I am a Christian, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a traveller, a cook and a writer. Am I ready to be Daisy the wife or the mother? Maybe?

I hardly recognise this new person, but I’m in love with the woman God has allowed me to become.

Copyright ©FlowerPowerDais 2011